Where do they come up with this?!?

A conversation with Emma over dinner last night - as she got very thoughtful

"Mom - if cows give milk, and chickens give eggs, what do alpacas give?"

I (trying hard not to laugh) answer, their fur

"But I don't want to eat their fur!"

No - its just for wearing

"Oh, thats so nice of them."

Really - crazy kid... officially starting to document our conversations, we need to remember them!

Proclaim it.

Today as I was reading I came across this verse:

Psalm 105.1

Give praise to the LORD, proclaim his name;

make known among the nations what he has done.

And so today that is what I am going to do. For two years now Matt and I have prayed that God would use the current struggles in our lives to bring Him glory, in some way, to help others know Him. We have consistently longed for our trials to be our testimony, for God's mighty hand to be revealed in ways that we could never know. For almost two years now we have struggled with the desires to grow our family, the physical pain of loosing pregnancies, and the waiting period of taking in children without a home, knowing that He would do it at the right time. Trusting that God would grow our family how He saw fit, taking the faith walk to just wait (which is really hard for me to do).

Over the last several weeks, I have struggled more than ever with the meaning of life. It is not until a life close to you is threatened that you begin to evaluate, to look at, and to wonder what it is all about. We have been faced with the uncertainty of life and attempting to trust that God is in control.

And now we see the hand of God reach down in both situations and show His faithfulness. As I sit tonight and try to put into words my overwhelming feelings of inadequacy. That He would choose to answer prayer. That He would give my mom something to look forward to. That at the exact time that we are needing Hope, He gives it. That the Maker of all life would choose my family to perform a huge miracle through a tiny life. Through that He has given us another child, a healthy pregnancy. LIFE - and only by the Hand of an Almighty Maker. Praise be to our Father in Heaven, who hears our cries, and gives LIFE and gives it abundantly!

Our prayer for this precious new life is that he/she would bring glory to God, from this day to their last. That we would not forget to proclaim His mighty act and faithfulness. That this story could bring others to know Him. May you be reminded today that He is good, His timing is perfect, He is in control, and He knows the deepest longings of our hearts.

So the facts: Jen is 12 wks, baby is in the right place! Due June 17th. Yes, a few wks into summer camp, again - trusting God's timing!

Santa Fe Thanksgiving

We had a great time over Thanksgiving! Matt was done with his final paper and we got to just be together as a family. We talked the entire 11 hour drive there, so nice just to be able to talk. Daddy and Emma had lots of play time, which was a nice break for Mom too and we were able to enjoy just being together.

There was some riding bikes.

Time in town square with Christmas lights.

Fun times with Pops and Susu!

Emma's Thanksgiving plate - I love her face "what, I shouldn't eat this huge piece of bread first?" And she did clean her plate!

And beautiful sunsets!

So much to be thankful for - Happy Thanksgiving!

Trusting

"Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we TRUST in the name of the LORD our GOD!" Psalm 20.7

Today I am reminded to Trust in our powerful almighty God:

So we are trusting that God is bigger than Stage 3 cancer.

We are trusting that God is all-knowing.

We are trusting that God is bigger than statistics.

We are trusting that His word is true and that He will never leave us.

We are trusting that He will be glorified.

We are trusting that prayers are answered.

We are just trusting - because that is all that we can do.

The strength of a mom

I wanted to take a post to write and ask for prayer for my mom, and also to take the time to write about what an amazing woman she is.

A few months ago my mom started having some pain and stomach issues, so first she had some blood work done and found out she was gluten intolerant. Great - change of diet and things will be better. They also came back that she had a parasite. She had suspected that and so got on some medication and a pretty strict diet to get rid of it. It was a pretty aggressive one that seemed to have really done some damage, so she really had some strong medications and had to follow the diet right on. Through the whole process my mom showed so much of what I have always known, strength and endurance. She did not skip a beat when we asked if she could come watch Emma or slow down during visits, she continued as Gigi, mom, wife and friend. It was easy to miss all the sickness that she was having because she never drew attention to it.

Just a few weeks ago she went back in to another doctor, just for another opinion because it did not seem to be getting any better. When the results came back that the parasite was gone, he suggested to get a biopsy to see if the parasite had done further damage. Brings us to this week when my mom went into get the biopsy done. First they found a bleeding ulcer, which they were able to cauterize, and then they found a mass in her stomach. They said it could be a number of things, results from the parasite or other. So we would have to wait for the results.

I will never forget the phone call I had with my mom on Wednesday. We were talking, she was telling me how she feels God has been so faithful through each step of this and just ready to have the results, when my dad drove up. These words will forever ring in my head - It's cancer.

It's cancer... we are still in shock. To go in for a parasite biopsy and come out with that result was not what we ever would have thought. So now begins CAT scans and then whatever steps are after that.

So I am writing to ask for you all to pray. Pray for healing, pray for peace and understanding, pray for wisdom for the doctors, pray that the pain and sickness levels will not be too high, pray that our family will come together even more and see God's hand all over this situation.

To you mom - I am grateful for dad who is so supportive and loving to you. I am grateful that you are not alone in this and that we all get to walk through it with you. I am grateful for your strength and faith. Years ago you and dad made a choice to change the course of our family, and by choosing to follow Christ, you have changed so many lives. I am thankful that you walk the faith walk that you so diligently have taught us to walk. I know you have been through so many difficult times in your life and your testimony is such a powerful one. I pray that this test will soon be another part of that testimony.

We love you and are praying you through ever step of this.

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Rom. 8.28

Bumble Bee

Well - this year we had a bumble bee - and she was pretty cute! So yes - another tutu costume, they are just so easy to make! Deer Creek took their inflatable slide to a few trunk or treats and so we got to go along. Emma spent a lot of time going down the slide, but loved walking around and talking to everyone.

We took a few fun shots of all three of us going down the slide - but I think we will be saving those for Christmas cards :)

Striving.

What am I striving for - a peace to move along with what God has placed in our path. Today was one of those days when life in one room was not fun. As I was washing dishes Emma looked at me and said, "Mom, where is yours and dads room?" I turned around and pointed at our bed and just had to laugh - she said, "Oh, in the kitchen?" Yes dear - in the kitchen. I love that kids can bring laughter to everything, even tense moments in my life.

I just sat down to read a little and stumbled across Ps 37.3 - "Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart" and verse 7 - "Be still before the Lord, and wait patiently for him."

The last week we have spent looking at rent places near here (which are not many) and trying to decide if we go ahead and pay for rent, and a new house mortgage at the same time. All in attempts to get into a house and get reopened as a foster home so that we can start taking kids again. It is a desire, a calling, but is it wise to do now... we have been struggling with that decision for a while. Obviously God knows what he is doing. He knows that we are licensed and ready to receive kids, we just need a home, he knows that it is hard to live in one room, He knows it is lonely living in a new place and trying to meet new people, He knows, He knows.

So - all that to say, it is hard to go against your own desires, but it is so good to just give them up and "be still". So for now thats what we are doing. We are going to be still, let God do the work that He started, and sit back in anticipation for what he has for this family. What a weight off my shoulders...

Thanks for letting me share my heart - perhaps this spoke to one of you and our desire to make things happen, I know that is me and it is just a good reminder that He will do it far better then I could have ever even imagined.