Let's go ahead and get it out there.
Investigation.
It has been a year since we travelled through ours and I hope our story can encourage those who are currently in one, or are scared to be found in the mix of one. One thing we learned, if you are a foster home it is not if, it is when. So just prepare yourself.
One year ago Jaden and I were recovering from his spine surgery and having some good quality time together. He chilled on his stomach for 5 days and I talked to him, watched his sweet face light up with he got to hold a ball, and... we slept a lot. It was an interesting week. I was spending my first days away from my other kids to care for a boy who had only been in my home for a short time. We loved him and we were prepared to adopt him into our family if things moved in that direction, but we did not know him or have that deep connection with him yet.
So - moving forward - a few days after being in recovery the doctor wanted to do an X-ray of Jadens' lungs just to make sure all was doing well. Shortly after the x-ray they let me know of an abnormality on one of his ribs. Shocked, I called his case worker to see if she had known of a prior injury at a different home.
Insert investigation.
The doctors could not date the abnormality since he had never had a prior chest x-ray, so they could not tell if it was a current injury or an abnormality he has had since birth.
I will never forget the phone call, the heart wrenching phone call that brought me to me knees. He cannot come home with you. What?!? This sweet boy of only 1 years old has already been moved from home to home, just encountered major spine surgery and you are going to place him in a strangers care. I was broken. Not for me but for him. I felt attacked. We discovered this, we got him this care, we have given him all that we had to offer, we were under investigation.
Two days later I carried Jaden to the car of our case manager and watched them drive away. I then started the long 3 hour drive home. I prayed, I sobbed, I called close friends and somehow I made the drive home safely. I held my two children for a long time that night and Matt and I cried together.
We felt helpless. We were in a fish bowl. We had people come to our house, we had to document every appointment that we had ever taken him to (which was a ton), we spent a few days/weeks not knowing what was going to happen next.
After the fog cleared we began to work through it all. It boiled down to this - they had to wait 30 days to do another x-ray and compare the two. That would show if it was an injury or something he was born with. So we waited. It seems that in that waiting, in the place when we cannot do much, we hear God speak truth and light into our lives.
1 Peter 1.7
These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold-though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world.
We got to walk through a trial and trust God. We got to see how God fights for us. We got to see how precious each little life is.
We also gained some perspective as we move forward in fostering (yes we are still fostering even after this crazy ride!) CPS is not broken. They are people working in a broken world. They had to take these steps because sadly enough, it is why children are in foster care in the first place. That have seen things that I could never dream of. They must protect the children, and for that I am grateful. We had an incredible case worker who did all she could to get him back into our home. We got to visit often, she brought him out to our house, she got his state attorney involved... which is where the fun part of the story begins.
Court - state attorney, case worker, another family wanting custody, case manager, judge, us... intense. She gave the facts, he granted that we go pick him up that day. Two days later a second x-ray was done showing no change, proving no injury. Our boy was home. Investigation closed. No words could say how full we felt but also how much we had grown. Every time we walk through something like this we learn and we grow. Now looking back on the past year sometimes it is just a distant memory. Sometimes my heart aches and I can find myself right back there. But what a place to be, on my knees.
So thats our investigation. God worked and we saw another way that he loves us all.
